Maybe it’s inner peace that we all need most? Then maybe we would finally enjoy some peace in this world. During my struggle with PTSD I have begged and pleaded with myself and with God to help me find peace. Not just a moment of peace, I want to fill my life with it. I want to feel it in my bones. I walk to carry it with me like a precious diamond and reflect rainbows of peace onto everyone and everything when the light hits me. I want my kids to feel my peace and wrap themselves in it. I want to be this huge beacon of peace that runs over and spreads throughout my home, community and the world. When you meet this new me, I want you to think, “Wow, that lady is peaceful.”
Inner peace takes practice. It hasn’t been easy to find and I’m still searching for it, but I have discovered some ways for me to live more peacefully. First and foremost I have had to identify my triggers and eliminate them. As I write this on 11/29/2016, I can tell you that I haven’t watched the news since July 14th (the Bastille Day attack which re-triggered my PTSD). I don’t miss it either and that’s a whole other post that is coming. I said goodbye to Facebook (even though now I do maintain a page for Still Blooming Me through a host site). The news feed is just as bad as watching the news and while I do miss out on an occasional birthday, birth announcement or baby picture, I see now how much time I spent looking at it rather than looking at myself or into the eyes of those I truly love. My phone doesn’t control me anymore – I control it. I highly recommend this if you are really wondering who truly values you in their life. They will pick up the phone and call you.
I have learned there is honor in saying no – I am honoring myself. This has brought incredible peace to a lady like me who loves to say yes.
I have found new ways to show myself love which brings me peace too. My husband jokes that I’m turning into an old lady with all my natural remedies, Epsom salt baths, gentle yoga, meditating, etc. and I say that sounds about right since the grays on my head have seemed to multiple by the millions since August. I am okay with the grays too. I feel I've somehow earned them.
Inner peace is being okay with these changes. Embracing them. Living them. Exuding them.
I don’t know where all of this will really lead me but I know that wherever I’m headed it will be peaceful.