Changing

I am not done changing

Out on the run, changing

I may be old and I may be young

 But I am not done changing

                                –John Mayer

When people say they choose change I wonder if they really mean it. Are they really prepared to make the difficult decisions needed to amend whatever is challenging them? Are they willing to leave behind those who don’t value their change? Are they willing to break away from the habits that keep them from change? Most importantly, will they be able look in the mirror after said change and embrace the person they see looking back at them?

I see adorable memes all the time on my Instagram feed displaying quotes about change and I think they leave most people feeling like it’s an easy thing to do.

“Be the change you with to see in the world.”

“Life is like underwear, change is good.”

And my personal favorite, “It only takes one person to change your life. You.”

All of these sentiments are accurate but far from easy.

What I know is true about change from my own experience is that “all great changes are preceded by chaos.” And I wish I would have figured out that “change before you have to” could have helped keep me out of the hospital. Regardless, I have lived, oftentimes painfully, through great changes and I am here to tell you that I am better for all of them.

Being hospitalized and diagnosed with PTSD at the ripe age of 35 wasn’t easy and part of what made it so difficult was knowing that I couldn’t be the same Elena I was before I went there if I wanted to live and live my life beautifully. The changes I had to make involved me being different, living differently, and thinking differently about myself and about the world around me.  What I’ve learned more recently too is that making the changes I did wasn’t the best part of my journey. Embracing the changes and celebrating them is where I grew the most and I’m 100% thrilled with the person, the new Elena, that I am today.

If you find yourself grappling with change I can offer some advice –

Practice your change every day and in every way.

Share it with those who support and love you.

Be gentle with yourself if you slip up along the way.

And most importantly – let go of perfection and instead embrace the journey you are on. It will uncover your strengths, your true passions, and the amazing person you truly are.